Time to reflect

In light of recent events, i have no choice but to sit back and reflect on what i have and have not accomplished in the last few weeks. You know that saying “you cant make a mountain out of a molehill”? I’ve actually taken that quite literally. Fact is, you actually can, when shit keeps piling up to the point where you have no clue what to start with and it turns a little problem into 100 different problems. That’s basically the point I’m at right now. I’ve got so many things taking me down a road that is un-chartered territory and i have no choice but to take it to heart. That being said, I took it upon myself to go out while i was visiting southern California and take a mountain face to face. I climbed 3 mountains during my stay there, each one being harder than the next.(i’ll write another post about my California adventure) I decided that if i can do this, my problems couldn’t possibly hold me back. In reality, it’s me that’s holding me back from my problems. For some odd reason, i think that if i procrastinate everything, it’ll eventually disappear. Wrong again brochacho. So today, i started tackling small problems. It seemed to go rather well, i pissed a friend of mine off so i reached out to see if it were possible to mend my drunken self back to where i should be in their life. It worked surprisingly enough, it just took me acknowledging i was in the wrong. Crazy to think how honesty can get you further in life than a bunch of small lies. Anyway, regardless, I’m pretty narcissistic. I almost always have to be the center of attention and when I’m not… Well, I’m not quite sure because i do everything in my power to be that way. This is another small problem that i need to work on. Outside of that, I’m not very nice to people I don’t know. (usually) I tend to put people down, make fun of their physical features and anything else i can get my little mind to create for me about them. It’s pretty fucked up so i should probably work on that one also. Finally i need to think about other people. I’m so quick to put myself first in 90% of every situation. I need to learn how to make myself more available to other peoples needs.

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