Things you need to learn.
First off, you should probably enjoy your life for what it is. Not a fictional life your friends have created for you. Regardless of your situation and what you’ve done for others. You literally have to do things for yourself. You may be in a relationship your friends think highly of or you may be in a relationship that you’re constantly questioning. Either way, it has to be something that you want. I want to be über famous and want the pussy to just flock to me like seagulls fighting over a piece of fresh bread but in reality, that’s never going to happen to me. I’ve done everything in my power to get accepted into film school for these exact reasons. Not so much the pussy but the fame. I want to be famous. If you ask anybody under the age of 10 what they want to be when they grow up, in some way, shape or form, it has to do with fame. We’ve all been like this since the time we’ve been able to deductive reason day to day relics. It has always been a dream of mine to call my single mother who raised three boys alone, working numerous jobs to support a healthy diet and relationship with her loved ones. This is the reason that I hold women so high in my book. This woman (my mother) took the divorce she was dealt, moved on and did what she needed to do to maintain a lifestyle that very few had. Ya, we didn’t have a lot, ya, we shared frozen burgers on the grill and ya, we didn’t have a lot of adult supervision but these are the main reasons I am who I am today. If it wasn’t for me teaching myself how to grow the fuck up and provide for myself, I’d probably be in a gutter somewhere. Somehow my family managed to push through the bullshit and push out the nonsense we didn’t need. Growing up in a broken home isn’t something you read about daily, nor is it something that people like to talk about. Hell, I hate talking about it. Shit wasn’t easy for me. Still isn’t. You don’t know where you should be during holidays, you don’t know what friends you can invite without a long questioning after. It fucking blows. Sadly, the parent I look up to the most is my mother. Because she’s the one who took care of me, she’s the one that took me to the hospital when my eyelid was cut in half, she was the one that took me to the dentist that put a fake tooth in. Hockey injuries will only be a small part of my time but there were others that made me who I am. Yet she was the person to be there for me every time I needed something. I’ll never forget that. You can call me a mammas boy all you want but until you endure the lobve and devotion this woman has provided me, then you’ll never understand. Anyway, growing up as a middle child didn’t come so easy for me. It was always the oldest and the youngest getting the majority of the attention. So I decided at an early age to become narcissistic I.e. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
It was because of this and the fight that I had to go through being the quiet, soft spoken middle child everybody was so used to, I realized I needed to spread out. Making my own interfamily fame. It worked out for the most part but people started catching on. So I found myself as a class clown, getting into more trouble than I shoud. This brought many weekly visits to to principles office due my strict insubordination about what attention needs to be where…. I fucked up doing this and probably shouldve learned the role elsewhere, yet, I didn’t miss on the extracurriculars. I dove right in. Being turned down by almost everybody. But that still didn’t drop my head. I only know how to hold my head high and prosper. Because that’s the way my mom showed me. In her own words “Joe, if they’re gonn be for you know, how long will it take for them to forget about you…. She has a valid point. It’s obviously been something ive been thinking about for a long time. In elders decisions, they’re amost 100% right so I can’t argue. Life happens for a reason. Weather you want what you’ve been looking for or because you’re looking for all the wrong reason. If you’re reading this and it hasn’t touched you in the smallest way. Please just stop reading.
I was just venting.