This morning I wake up and realize the laundry list of things to do is rather large. I roll over check the time on my phone and its a brisk 12:37 in the afternoon. I roll over toss some comfy shorts on and head out of the bedroom. Running the sleep out of my eyes, I trip over my open suitcase that has been sitting there with clothes still in it from almost two full weeks ago. Now that I’m laying in the doorway of my bedroom, I realize is time for some caffeine. I start to put water in my French press but realize I’m just not in the mood for coffee. It’s just to warm out. I ponder the thought of making iced coffee but realize I’m too fucking lazy to put that much effort into my morning ritual. Under normal circumstances, I would just head to the local Starbucks and just pay somebody to do this but once again, I’m just too lazy. I decide to go down to the store my my apartment. I look into my wallet and find zero American form of currency. I should have a lot of this living in America, right? Nope. Now that I’m tossing shit around my apartment to find two dollars in change so I can buy a fucking Rockstar I’m just irritated. It doesn’t take me long to realize that my dryer is the home to plenty of quarters, so I go grab a handful and head out my front door. I walk to my car, open the drivers side door and this wave of heat hits me like a fucking porn star getting slapped in the face with a cock. “Fuck that” I say out loud and begin the short walk to the store that is literally 6 blocks away. (Ya, I was really going to drive out of laziness) I get within two blocks of the store and the streets are now littered with people waiting for the buses, loitering, people being very shady and others that look like they’re digging a hole in the sidewalk for no reason. I look at my watch and its 12:55 which in the Rocks is what we like to call pedestrian rush hour. Well that’s what I call it anyway. Only because most of the housing in my area is half-way houses, section 8 housing, crack houses and up at my end, real houses. I scurry by a few men talking and nearly trip over a child the size of a small dog, who apparently, was with one of the men. Who clearly thought a stroller was an inconvenience at the time he left his house, or maybe baby momma had to run off for a few hours and left him with a terrific father figure to be watched by. Who knows. I didn’t bother to ask for details. I just kinda hopped over the child that was crawling about the sidewalk. I get my beverage and head back out into the streets. As I crack open the blue, 16oz can. Everybody standing on the sidewalk stopped what they were doing to look to see what I had in my hand. I smiled, tipped the can towards them and took a drink. When neared the second intersection heading back to my house, I noticed a lady dressed in a baggy pair of jeans and t-shirt that was big enough to fit a medium sized elephant. Just standing at the stop sign. It seemed like she was waiting for something but she wasn’t at the bus stop. I crossed the street opposite of her and caught her in the corner of my left eye heading towards me. I didn’t think anything of it until I heard her say “honey… honey, wait”! I didn’t stop but I turned toward her and said “no, I don’t have any spare change” (as my pocket full of quarters jingles loud enough to wake the dead) she then says “no, do you have a girl, cause I’m working” I responded “not interested”… HOLY SHIT! I thought to myself. Did I just get propositioned by a hooker, in broad daylight, just a few blocks from my house? I kept walking, at a little bit of a faster rate than usual but I had this awkward feeling someone was following me. I turned around and there she was, trying to keep up. Wasn’t going to happen. I started a full on sprint, right past my apartment and dashed down the alley. I didn’t want that bitch to know where I lived. Hung out for a bit, then retreated back to my air conditioning.
I swear on my life that everything in this story is 100% true and I’m not the last bit exaggerating. Fucking shit. What an eventful trip to the store I had.
Today was a rather peculiar day for me. I started putting things together and organizing things for my big move. I had a lot of shit go through my head as I was doing this. Was moving to further educate myself the best possible decision I can make? Was I doing everything accurately to enhance myself to the job market? Then it hit me. We all live on an edge between existence and nothing. That’s it. None of us actually know what is going to happen tomorrow. We’re here one day, gone the next. Nobody actually knows when our time will come. That’s pretty fucking scary to think about. Obviously none of us want to go tomorrow but realistically, some of us will. This saddens family and friends but is real. Maybe I’m thinking too much or maybe it’s just a harsh reality. I don’t have much, nor do I have a lot of close friends. I literally can count them on one hand and three of them are family members. So now, I get to move to an entire new city full of people I don’t know. Which won’t be that difficult of a transition for me. Anyway, the point of this is really that I have nothing that I really want to take from my shitty life in Pittsburgh and move it to my shitty life in Orlando. Maybe some clothes but really I just want a fresh start for my life. It just really bothers me that I don’t have a single thought or rational as to why I still exist. Ya I’m sure whoever reads this will probably just interpret it as depressing and sad. It kinda is. Especially when none of us know when our last day will be on this earth. If you knew when your last day was going to be, what would you do before that day came?